


Five Endings for 'The Lady or the Tiger?' Plus One That Actually Happened

by atamascolily



Category: The Lady or the Tiger? - Frank Stockton
Genre: 5+1 Things, Choose Your Own Ending, Game Shows, Literary References & Allusions, POV First Person, Quantum Mechanics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25207384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atamascolily/pseuds/atamascolily
Summary: Whichone happened, is, of course, up to you.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Five Endings for 'The Lady or the Tiger?' Plus One That Actually Happened

Two doors wait for me in the the arena where I must face my doom. Behind one is a beautiful lady, whom I will marry on the spot if I open it. The other conceals a bloodthirsty tiger, who will tear me to pieces and devour me while the crowd cheers it on. This is the price for a commoner like me who dares to love a princess with a controlling father--a ruler who likes his justice poetic and swift, with generous heap of mental torture on the side. For this so-called crime, I face an impossible choice: marriage to another or death. 

I don't know which door to choose. 

But she does. I look up to the balcony where the princess and her mad father sit as this bizarre spectacle unfolds. The king is so fixated on me he doesn't notice when she raises her hand slightly, and gestures to the right. 

_Her_ right, which would make the door I want the one on the left--because we're mirroring each other, right? Right. 

I obediently turn to the left door. She frowns, shaking her head. Whatever she wants for me is definitely the door on the right. Okay, then. Right it is. 

Which is all right with me. When I swore I would trust her with my life, it wasn't the idle boast of an impetuous youth. I mean, it might have been an ill-advised to have an affair with her, but there's still a chance things could work out. I'm not dead yet. 

I take a deep breath. In theory, I'm free to choose my fate-- as much choice as can exist in this sort of philosophical conundrum. The truth is that I would be paralyzed with indecision if left to my own devices, which is why my choice is let her choose for me.

I step forward to the door on the right and place my hand on the knob. 

0\. 

Wait a minute. This whole situation is impossible. The only way to win is not to play, right? 

So I don't open either door. I turn and run. I'm killed on the spot while the crowd jeers at my cowardice. Bad plan. 

(Maybe I won't do that.)

1\. 

I open the door on the right. A tiger emerges, growling and snarling, as it catches my scent. Unlike other lowborn youths in other stories, we are not childhood friends. I did not pull a thorn from its paw on the way to the arena. Nor I am not blessed with the ability to speak to beasts.

It hurts like hell, but at least it's over quickly.

2\. 

I open the door on the right. A beautiful lady steps forward, blushing with feigned modesty, as she offers me her hand. I recognize her at once - the princess's least favorite courtier, her most jealous rival. A bell rings and a priest steps forward to marry us on the spot. 

I observe this lady more closely. A wide smile is pasted on her face, but I know it's a lie. She's not any more thrilled by this than I am. 

I look up at the princess and mouth a single word: 'Tonight'. 

When we get home, I tell my new bride I'll turn a blind eye to her affairs if she'll keep mine under wraps. She agrees. She's in love with someone else anyway. 

The princess understood: when you're dead, you're dead. As long as you're alive, there's room to negotiate. This is why we belong together, and why her jealous father will never be able to part us. 

3\. 

I open the door on the right. Nothing is there. The princess has removed the lady and/or tiger in advance. All that fuss and bother for nothing. I knew she was a clever girl. 

The king is so angry he has an apopletic fit and dies on the spot. The princess calls to the priest waiting in the wings to marry us, and I am crowned consort. That evening, we preside over the very feast meant to mark our separation. 

Irony. I love it. 

4\. 

I step forward to open the door on the right, and pause. Set off to one side is a third door, one I didn't notice before.

I open the new door. A goat steps out. The king is furious at this subversion of justice. Am I guilty? Am I innocent? Nobody knows.

I wonder if this means I should switch doors. 

5\. 

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. A hush falls over the crowd. I open the door on the right and step through. I can't see what waits for me in the shadows. 

The door closes behind me, trapping me in darkness. Something warm and soft curls around my calves. I wince, expecting the tiger, but it's just a housecat that must have wandered in when no one was looking. 

We are there for a long time, but nothing happens. Not knowing what else to do, I pet the cat. Its purring comforts me. 

Outside, they are still waiting to learn our fate.

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think that Frank R. Stockton would have enjoyed _Let's Make a Deal_ as well as certain thought experiments in both probability theory and quantum mechanics.


End file.
